Since May of 2009, motor neuron disease has slowly attacked my tongue and esophagus. My tongue has gotten very weak; it is difficult to chew solid food; I have to be careful when I swallow that I don’t choke; and my voice has deteriorated to little more than a growl----sometimes I can’t understand what I am saying.
This presents some interesting challenges. I now carry a small white board so I can write out messages for family, sales clerks, wait persons, etc. Or I type messages on my laptop.
However, everything is not all bad; the following is a list of the good things resulting from this disease:
1. I am no longer called a “loud mouth”.
2. I can really frustrate telemarketers when they call.
3. My wife doesn’t have to suffer from my horrible singing in the shower.
4. My friends and family don’t have to listen to me repeat the same stories for the umpteenth time.
5. My wife is winning a lot more of our arg……, I mean discussions.
6. Our grocery budget is a fraction of what it used to be.
7. Cute young saleswomen fall all over themselves to be helpful.
8. People remember me and my white board. After just one visit to a store, I am treated like an old customer the next time I come in.
9. I have a good excuse for not calling Verizon, the cable company, Medicare, etc. to get a billing adjusted.
10. When I go out to eat, I bring home a doggy bag with most of my meal; it will usually provide 3 to 5 more meals at home.
11. I have finally found a way to lose the excess weight that I have been packing on since college.
12. I can finally wear my “thin” clothes that I have been saving for years. Are powder blue leisure suits back in style yet?
13. I can chow down on all of the high calorie fatty foods whenever I want to.
14. I get a “perfect” martini the first time. When I write out my detailed order for a martini, the waitperson just takes the white board to the bartender.
15. I quit cussing (at least out loud).
You are the "Man with the Board." Perhaps "Mr. Chalk." When you don't keep your promises at home your wife will no longer say "talk is cheap", she will say "chalk is cheap."
ReplyDeleteGood to see your articles and spirit up and great to see you are not letting your disease keep you down.
A tweaked quote from Braveheart "You can take away my voice, but you can't take away my freedom!" :)
God works in mysterious ways. God's creations are there for us to use when facing challenges
ReplyDelete